My Name Is Kayla, and I Am a TAR HEEL!

I would just like to take this opportunity to give God a great big THANKS!
Today was my first day of class at UNC Chapel Hill and I cannot express the joy I have in my heart.
I realized in the middle of my Jewish Studies class that every student is here not because they are forced to be in school, but because they actually WANT to be here.
I don't fully understand why that makes me as happy as it does, but I know there is truth in it.
I am sitting here in Wilson Library and I have already fallen in love.
The next four years are going to be amazing, despite any challenges that are thrown my way.
I am so excited to see what God has in store for me!
My name is Kayla Seiffert, and I am a Tar Heel!

buried in my heart

we all have those recurring nightmares.

you know, the ones that may differ throughout the plot

but it's always the same terribly tragic ending?

and then 

one day you wake up

and it's everything you feared.

and more.

that was the morning of 30 May for me.

that was the morning i last got to spend time with my lilly.

that was the morning my best friend died.

i imagined it would happen many different ways...

maybe she would get run over.

maybe she would run away to die by herself.

maybe she would finally succeed in drowning herself in the toilet.

maybe she would die when the house caught on fire.

maybe she would die curled under the elm tree like skip in "My Dog Skip." 

 ...i never imagined the way she really went.

wednesday night my mum and i came home to find a "lilly accident" on mum's bed.

this particular type of accident was very unlilly-like 

and i pointed it out,

but i gave it no more thought.

lilly spent the night under mum's bed.

i woke up thursday and went to look for her.

she normally sleeps with me and i hadn't seen her all night.

naturally, i freaked out when i found her in the exact same spot she had been in the night before.

i went on to freak out more when i picked her up and she was all limp.

i took her downstairs and she immediately went to hide under the table.

i tried to give her something to drink, thinking maybe that was the problem, but she refused to drink.

When she finally did drink, the liquid went straight through her.

at that point, i insisted my mum take us to the vet.

nothing good comes from the vet.

though, i did admire his bluntness. 

"it isn't good," he said.

"there is a large mass in lilly's lower abdominal region," he said.

"she has no more than three days to live," he said.

basically the worst morning of my life.

it all resulted in her "safely arriving in animal heaven."

being honest,

i can miss her all i want 

and be mad at whomever i want,

but it isn't going to bring her back.

two weeks ago i was introduced to a new storm in my life,

one with heart-shattering repercussions. 

it was always lilly and kayla against the world

and it still is,

just in a different way now.

Lillyanna "Lilly" Marie Seiffert 

is buried in the backyard.

"that isn't totally true. for she really lay buried in my heart."

and that is where she will stay forever and always.

my little lillykinz.

ohkay, it may be too soon for jokes...

...but the truth is!

HARRY STYLES STOLE LILLY AND GAVE HER TO MATT CARDLE!

what?

p.s.

an explanation for the middle three pictures?

yes, the cat was a bit odd.

i did raise her...

what exactly did you expect?