m & m

you asked me what my goals were
you asked me what i wanted out of this opportunity for now
you asked me what would drive me day to day

because in the long term i thought of me
i thought of my comfort
i thought about saving my fifth grade dream that had been "taken" from me

but did i want a house?
that's what you wanted
and you fulfilled that dream and built your life from the ground

you described everything to him first
and with your amazing ambition and tantalizing talent and dedicated drive
you made your dreams possible

but i just wanted to help
i wanted to settle my dust and help
but i didn't have the words to explain it

i didn't know how to tell you i just wanted everything to be ohkay for once
i didn't know how to tell you i didn't want the friction anymore
because it would take too long and too much of you 

but sitting here with poetry in my hand and a chai latte to my lips
i read it
i understand how to explain it

of course i want to be successful
but i don't crave success for me
i need to be successful to gain
enough milk and honey
to help those around
me succeed
-rupi kaur (milk and honey)

yes, i want to make all of my dreams come true
but i don't know what they are anymore
i don't know how to make paper from scratch in a treeless land

but more importantly,
i want to help the one who made sure i lived
even if she continuously throws rootless dirt in my face

and i want to help the only one who has never left my side
because with a little faith, trust and green pixie dust
her dreams coming into focus can be achieved too

just like your house
and look how extensively blessed you are now
and you didn't even dream that part

that's my goal
that's what i want out of this opportunity for now
that's what will drive me day to day